Learn to love again
by Louise62
Summary: "No one will ever understand. Sometimes you wonder if its even worth it, the crying and hurt. Every time you see a knife or a sharp pair of scissors, it takes all you have to not end it there." Ally is broken and it seems no one can fix her. However, Austin see's her as someone who is screaming out a call for help. Will he be the one to save her? Auslly. Rated T:) AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Austin and Ally

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No one will ever understand it. Waking up and facing life every single day when you know you don't deserve it. The people you truly love have had life cruelly snatched away from them. No one will understand the pain! It's worse than a bullet to the heart and it hurts more than anything else ever could. Every day is a battle and even breathing becomes a challenge. Sometimes you wonder if its even worth it, the crying and hurt. Every time you see a knife or a sharp pair of scissors, it takes all you have to not end it there. Smiling becomes nothing but a very distant memory and its long forgotten. Every second you have to try to stop your self from breaking down in tears. You hide it away and lie to your own brain. For years the depression is all you are. It eats you alive until you have nothing left. You hate it when people try to say that it gets better because it doesn't and it never will. It hurts forever and not even love will fix you.

This is how I felt ever since the day my parents died. I can remember it all so clearly. The screaming, the crying and sitting out in the rain watching all I ever loved burn to ash. You feel so helpless and you know there's nothing you can do no matter how much you scream.

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FLASHBACK

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" This is the noise that woke me up on the worse day of my life. It was 1 o'clock in the morning and I knew that the noise was signalling a fire. The first thought that came to my head was 'I have to get out of her' and I have regretted that ever since.

I ran down stairs not having time to wrap up and I was wearing no more than my pyjamas. Having made it to the front door in record speed, I was about to leave the house when a sudden thought made me turn back. Where were my parents? Were they ok? Had they made it outside already? Did they take Andrew, my baby brother? Now I was worried and turned back.

As I walked though the house, I heard screaming and soon began to run towards the direction of the noise. When I got there, I swear my heart stopped. My mum was stood outside Andrew's room which the entrance to was blocked. I peeked inside the room and saw a blazing fire inches away from where my dad was carrying Andrew.

"AHHHHH!" He screamed as a load of bricks fell onto him.

"DAD!" I yelled trying to get in by climbing over the rubble.

"No Ally! Let me go." Said my mum climbing in her self. Once she was in, she grabbed Andrew and tried to help my dad up as the fire got closer.

"Just leave me! Get yourself and the kids safe." He told my mum. She nodded and dashed for the door tears in her eyes. I knew I was going to cry myself any second.

My mum got to door and was trying to climb over the rubble when she tripped. "I can't go on! I've hurt my leg. Take Andrew and go somewhere safe." She told me. I could feel my heart die and was about to cry when my mum saw my sadness. "Be brave. Be brave for Andrew." I nodded my head and began to run with the baby cradled in my hands. I didn't look back to see my parents get engulfed by the flames and got out of the house.

Outside, the firemen had just arrived and started to try to put out the fire. Some of them asked me questions which I reluctantly answered. The ambulance had came and some nurses were giving me and Andrew a check up.

After all this chaos, I just sat there in the rain on the edge of the road watching. Watching all I ever loved burn to ash.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thank you to everyone that reviewed:) hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Austin and Ally

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I was only 10 on the day of the fire and Andrew was only 1. We lost any inheritance we might of got because our parents will burnt in the fire. Me and Andrew were sent to live in a children's home just on the edge of London (we lived in England).

I was depressed every day and cried every night. I was only sad when I was on my own.

"Be brave. Be brave for Andrew." My mom's words echoed in my head every second of my life.

'I will! I will always be brave!' I told her in my head. Andrew couldn't see me upset or he would be as well. As he grew older, he knew nothing about our parents which is for the best. He was often sad that he never got to know them when he saw children from school hugging their parents. When he did a play, peoples parents would come to watch and give a standing ovation telling their child that they were amazing. I felt the same way but it was worse. It was worse because I knew what I had lost and could picture them among the crowd. I knew that if they were there, they would clap the loudest and when I spoke my line they would have a look of great pride on their faces and a tear in their eyes. But they weren't and they never could be.

No one understood me and I was that odd girl who never fitted in. I was picked on because I was an orphan which made everything worse. Not even the teachers knew the cause of my parents death and I wasn't about to tell them. I can still remember the girl who bullied me most. The words she said hurt as if she had just stabbed me in the chest. That's when I couldn't bare it anymore.

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FLASHBACK

I groaned as the meanest girl in the class, Melissa Jones, walked over to me followed by her gang of 'friends'.

"Hey Dawson! You know, wearing an old sack isn't exactly the best choice of clothing" she smirked and her 'friends' sneered at her comment.

"Leave me alone Melissa! I don't have time for this." I sighed.

"What are you doing that's got you so busy? You know you don't have a social life. You just hang around at the dump that is an orphanage."

"Please! Just go away."

"Your such a bitch, you know that Dawson?! You think you should get special attention from all the teachers just because you don't have any parents. Why did you get dumped anyway? I bet it's because your parents didn't love you and I don't blame them! I don't think anyone ever will. They were probably drunk, no good, druggies! Even then they didn't love –"

Now I was furious! How could she be so mean about my mom and dad that died saving me and my baby brother? Before she could finish, I punched her right in the nose. I didn't care who saw or if I got expelled. It's .what she deserved. In fact, she deserved a whole lot more. "YOU CAN BE MEAN TO ME! YOU ARE ON A DAILY BASIS BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING MY PARENTS INTO THIS? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM! NOW I KNOW THAT YOUR THE ONE WHO WILL NEVER TRULY BE LOVED BECAUSE YOUR NOTHING BUT A SPOILT BRATTY BITCH! THE MOMENT YOU BRING MY PARENTS INTO THIS, IT GETS REAL! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY PARENTS DIED IN A FIRE TRYING TO SAVE MY BABY BROTHER AND ME! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME OR MY LIFE SO JUST BUTT OUT AND STOP ACTING LIKE THE BIG HEAD YOU ARE!" I yelled into her face. We had the attention of everyone in the hall way. They all looked shocked and tried to comfort me and say they were sorry (apart from Melissa) but I just ran past them and out of the school doors. I just ran to the only place I could go, back to the children's home. But it will never be anything like my real home.

END OF FLASHBACK

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As I was an orphan and they felt sorry for me, I only got suspended. As I grew older and went to high school, I didn't talk a lot or tell anyone why I was an orphan. It didn't make it any better and I was still picked on.

As for Andrew, he had a little group of friends who were all obsessed with Spider Man. It must be so easy at that age. Sometimes I wished I could be that young with out a care in the world.

When I turned 16, Andrew was only 7. I was told I would have to leave the children's home so I did. I didn't want to leave Andrew, but I had to get far away from everything I was and start new. This is why I decided to move to Miami, Florida in the USA.

I would go to school there until i graduated. I wouldn't be the orphan girl any more as I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I would hide the pain right underneath the surface. I would no longer be bullied and I would be popular for once. All this sounded so simple and straight forward but I had no idea how hard it would be.

**A/N: Please follow, favourite and review:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm sorry that Austin isn't in it yet but I had to introduce everything. He will be in the next chapter I promise! This chapter isn't the best but its just a filler chapter so you don't get confused anything. Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Austin and Ally, only the plot line belongs to me. Now on with the story I mean who reads these anyway?

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I could feel myself shaking as I got out of the taxi that had just stopped outside of my new house, it would never would be home. It was a small bungalow which I had been given by an old family member that I didn't even know. Oh and it was nice to know that they didn't want me and Andrew or anything to us! Until now. They apparently lived in Miami and I would move in with them after they got back from a 6 month business trip in who knows where.

It was actually quite a nice place and it was fairly modern. It had one bedroom and a joint kitchen/dinning room. As you walked in, you went into a small hallway before entering a living room. There was a the tiniest garden ever which had a gate at the bottom. Through this gate there was a pathway that would take you down to the beach. Even with this nice little place, there was something missing. I felt myself even miss the children's home. It had been where I had lived for the past few years and it wasn't so lonely as it was here.

I only had a suitcase as all my other possessions had been sent up earlier. I dragged it behind me and threw it onto my bed. _I'll unpack later! Now it's time for some sleep_ I thought. I pushed the overfull bag onto the floor and it burst open but I was too tired to do anything about it then. I fought against my eye lids to keep them open but as soon as I lay down, it was clear they had won. I fell into such a deep sleep it was like I was in a coma.

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The next morning, I was woken up by a BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! My heart instantly sped up and I felt sick. This couldn't happen again could it? My eyes fell onto where the noise was coming from. Sure enough it was... Oh, it was just my phone telling me I had a text.

I groaned as I picked it up and read the text. It was from one of my old care workers. _Seriously? I have been on my own for not even a day and they already text?_ I thought.

**Tammy (Care worker):** _Hello Allison. I realised that today you will begin at Marino High School and I know you don't like alarms so I thought I'd wake you up before you were late._

**Me:** _Really? You felt the need to wake me up at 5 am? I'll hav u no that I did set an alarm! I'm not that much of a baby. And yes I no bout scool. Do u think I had memory loss since yesterday? I can get up myself and I hav a new life now away from u and those annoyin kids so please leave me alone! I can handle it I dnt need a txt from u every ten mins to remind me to wash my hands before breakfast or turn the light off wen I go out a room!_

Ok that was very harsh but I really wanted to start a new life. To be honest, it was mostly a lie. I'm terrified of setting an alarm because of the noise (for obvious reasons) so I hadn't set one and I had completely forgotten about starting school. Also, by the time I sent the text it was 5:25 and yes there is a difference! Plus after I left my bedroom I'd forgotten to switch the light off.

The only reason I had been so harsh is because I tried to act tough in front of all the care workers so they wouldn't see that I was hurting really badly.

I got myself dressed after spending half an hour on choosing my outfit and then after I spent another half an hour to do my makeup. It was the quickest I had ever taken to get ready!

After eating breakfast and doing all the other little morning things, I grabbed my bag and looked at the time on my phone. _8:10 great! I'm going to be late on my first day!_ I thought. School didn't officially start until 9:00 but it was a ten minute walk to the bus stop and the bus left at 9:25 so I'd barely make it.

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After finally arriving outside the school gates, I looked up at the place I would spend most of my life now. I was seriously nervous as I walked through the parking lot. I saw all the other students talking to their friends. Mid term wasn't the best time to join a new school. I sighed and headed towards the door. I pushed it open lightly and walked in. 'Time to see people's reaction to the new girl.' I thought.

I kept my head down and hoped people wouldn't notice me for now but I wasn't looking where I was going and bumped into someone causing both our books to go flying every where.

And that's when everything leading up to the worst and best days of my life began.


End file.
